I sometimes wonder why parents so badly wanna get their kids married off so early. I do understand that its a burden off their shoulder once they get their daughters married off much before she comes up and tells "dad, i like this guy. He is not from our cast or religion but he's a nice guy. I really love him dad. I want to get married to him". It saves them of all the social stigma they need to go thru if they have to face a situation like that. So they play safe. At times the daughter is smart enough to take her time and convince her parents also to take some time before making decisions. I really don't believe anybody can just blindly go marry someone your parents have found for you without even interacting with the person for a week. Its called absolute stupidity and sometimes you have to pay dearly for such acts of foolishness. Whether the reason is your Kundali saying you have to get married before so and so date or the society putting pressure on the parents to get their kids married off before its 'too late', there is no excuse for playing with and spoiling a girl's life with such hasty decisions. This is one thing i see in a lot of malayalee families these days and i so hate it. Come on man, nobody is gonna eat your daughter up. Give them also some time to settle down in life. 23 is too bloody young to take care of a family for girls of this generation. These are gals who have been pampered by none other than their parents themselves for their whole lives and all of a sudden they want them to go to another family and take up all the responsibilities that comes with running a family. And my dear gals who are reading this. Dont fuckin ever be foolish to just tell your dad, i know you will find the right guy for me daddy. i will marry any guy you find for me. I trust you and your choice. I will say FUCK U. Its your bloody life man. So you make your own decisions and not you dad. There is no guarantee that the guy you find for yourself is foolproof, but atleast you wont have to live with the guilt that you married a guy whom you never really liked or wanted to marry but did so just to make other people happy.
Read an article in times of india today which showed the drastic increase in divorce cases in bangalore among the IT sector. Just like the bomb blast issue, such articles never hit you hard until your near and dear ones are affected by it. And today it did hit me hard when she told me "Sandy, I am officially divorced".
I still remember her tell me how nice a guy she has found and that i should meet him once to understand what a wonderful guy he is. I just posed this one question to her even then, how can you be so sure about how good or bad this guy is whom you just met a week back and to whom you are getting married to the next week.
I really don't know the exact reason behind the whole thing. So i cant make my assumptions to why it happened in this particular case or reach any sort of conclusion. But i had seen a similar issue around 3 years back when one of my classmates got married just in the same fashion and it all ended almost in the same fashion. Its not that simple as it sounds for a gal in her early twenties to live with a divorcee tag.
Its a very big decision in life that you are taking so please make sure its a wise one. I know some of these marriages end with a happily ever after tag line. But not everyone is that lucky.
Extremely frustrated cos when i spoke to her i didn't know whether to talk about her past and try consoling her or talk about her future and try encouraging her. So all i could do was to use the present tense perfectly and talk as though nothing ever went wrong.
1 comment:
U feel very strongly about this issue..don't u?
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